The perfection trap & how to break free

Perfect [adjective]: being entirely without fault or defect

Perfect [verb]: to bring to final form

You are constantly bombarded with images of perfection. Facebook, Instagram, television shows, YouTube channels, TikTok...the list goes on. These illusions of the perfect man or woman, with the perfect life, in the perfect house, with the perfect relationship, the perfect body, the perfect career, or the perfect diet are all in fact just that - ILLUSIONS.

So what is it about perfection that is so appealing? What in your life are you trying to perfect?

If you’ve ever started a new exercise routine, maybe you’ve been under the impression that every workout needed to feel extremely difficult and followed exactly as programmed or you’d never be as strong and fit as you want. Or maybe you’ve started a new nutrition plan and believed it must be followed 100% accurately or you’d never get the body of your favorite Instagram personality.

This ALL or NOTHING mentality feeds the delusion that people who succeed at anything (physically, mentally, professionally) do it perfectly without fail. When we buy into this delusion, we create fear around trying the very things that might help us learn and grow towards our goals.

This fear of failure may be the force driving you into the perfection trap. Perfectionism to its core often masks the deep rooted fear of not being good enough. Fear of not being smart enough, strong enough, pretty enough, competent enough, rich enough, likable enough - again, the list goes on.

So, how do you break free from this perfection trap?

Practicing growth-minded thinking, in which you believe that your basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, can help you learn to improve progressively over time and ditch the thinking that has you avoiding risks out of fear. When you start thinking with a growth mindset, you embrace challenges and don’t shy away from learning new things.

Amy Morin, author of the book “13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do” encourages an exercise in the second chapter of her book, titled “They don’t insist on perfection.” Morin suggests writing yourself a compassionate letter in which you give yourself a pep talk to embrace your flaws and imperfections and never give up. Think of things you would encourage your best friend to do or say to herself, and write those things to YOU. Read this letter as often as needed to remind yourself that your imperfections are what make you unique, they make you YOU!

Life is filled with challenges and obstacles and the longer you wait for the time or situation to be perfect, the longer you put off your own growth. To grow physically, mentally, professionally or emotionally, you must be willing to learn, to be challenged, and to move forward even when circumstances aren’t perfect.

As author Gary John Bishop says: “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Perfection only exists in your mind. So get out of your mind and into your life!

Xo,

Katie